My favorite quotes this month

I have 2 favorite quotes this month from the MSICU floor. You will have to ask Dr. P to explain his quote.  The story is funny, but too long to write. Both quotes do have good explanations, but they sounded funny at the time. So here they are:

Charge Nurse L: "I will scratch yours and you can scratch mine."

Dr P: "Maybe it was the KY enema. Yeah, he used the whole tube. He told the nurse he knew how to use it."

Face lift

11/16/07- Dr. B.H. to Pt's room. Pt states that he was delivered by a Dr. H. Dr. H. tells the Pt that it was him and he had some surgery done to make him look younger. The Pt looks Dr. H. in the eyes and says "You should've paid for the more expensive surgery."

Gram Positive...Organisms??

I have been asked by Leah to put my organism story on this blog. If you know the story then just skim this entry , give me a nice courtesy laugh and move on, no offense will be taken; however, if you do not know my "most embarrassing moment" story then sit back, relax and enjoy!

It happened about a year and a half ago. I was in the middle of morning rounds with Dr. Sundar, Kevin and Phil. We were all discussing the patient's status and possible care plans for the day. During the discussion, Dr. Sundar asked if any of the cultures had come back positive. Being a newer nurse, I was always nervous during morning rounds, because I did not want to make a mistake in answering the doctor's questions. Anyway, I responded to Dr. Sundar's very easy question: "Yes, the cultures came back with Gram Positive Orgasms." As soon as those words left my mouth, I realized what I had said. I then tried to think of the correct word (Organisms) and for the life of me could not think of it to correct myself. I just stood there blushing and laughing as Kevin and Phil joked about me being newly married and now knowing what I had on my mind. We all proceeded to go into the patient's room, assess the patient, talk with the family about the patient's status and then go back to the nurses station. As we sat down at the nurses station, Dr. Sundar looked up at me and said with a straight face, "Becca, I had no idea that this place was so stimulating." At that moment, we all started to laugh. Lets just say, now I am very careful when someone asked if the cultures are back:)

Everyone Loves Ice cream

Thanks to all who have covered my short breaks, which now allow me to possibly make some extra cash. I came home from working only to find my son's bottle not even half drunk sitting out on the table. I thought, "Darn, that could have gone to Ben and Jerry's. I wonder how much they would pay." For those of you out of the loop, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking the icecream maker to begin using breast milk in its products instead of cow's milk.

Dr Pearce and Brian - thank you for your demonstration on the woes of breast feeding. Mothers everywhere should appreciate your sympathy. 

Our Brian

If you ever need to get a favor from Brian, just show your newly pedicured toes to him; even better, let him TOUCH your toes...& watch him go from a shade of pink to HOT RED in 10 seconds or less. Everyone loves Brian.

The giggles!

Blake, Dixie, and I were cleaning up a patient, and the smell of digested promote filled the room. Blake, with the sensitive gag reflex, audibly dry heaves. With tears in his eyes, he starts holding his breath and the rest of us got the giggles. We felt SO bad, but the giggles couldn't stop!

A funny story about Blake...

On Blake's last day at work, he had some GI issues. He was stocking a patient's room and ripped one (Dr. P's words). The patient opens her eyes and says "Was that me, I STINK?" Blake nodded his head and said "Yup, that was you" and left the room laughing. He goes back in the room 15 minutes later and the patient says "Am I going to smell like that all the time?" Blake "I don't know, maybe." I go in 30 minutes later and asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine but that she was really stinky this morning. The rest of the day the Pt was concerned because of her smell in the morning and told the doctors and her family all about it.

Moral Story: A skunk smells his own fur first, but doesn't have to fess up for it.